Mourning in the Snow
by Tetsuwan Penguin
Summary: A visitor to Japan finds a friend to share his grief with while visiting an Onsen.


**I'd **met ブライアン on ten meters during a freak ionosphere ducting that provided an open path between Northern Japan and South Florida for nearly an hour, despite the solar cycle being in a deep quiet period. Brian, or Buraian as he now pronounced his name, was an American ex-patriot who'd moved to Japan and had taken a Japanese wife many years ago. We'd managed to keep a rag chew schedule, bouncing between the forty and twenty meter bands, depending on propagation conditions. We mostly worked SSB phone, but on a few occasions I tried brushing off my very rusty CW skills and fortunately Brian was patient with me, putting up with my lead fist and slow copying speed.

It was mid March, with winter not quite willing to release its grip on the northern most regions of Japan, when Robin and I found ourselves making the trek toward my new friends adopted home. I'd been in a melancholy mood knowing my mother's yahzeit was coming up, and I'd hoped that the trip would take my mind off of the re-triggered grief. However the ride over narrow rocky roads in an old Jeep was almost torture, which did little to raise my spirits, and we were quite happy to finally reach the end of the journey.

Brain lived almost as a hermit in an old wooden building near a mountainous area, surrounded by forest. The branches of the coniferous trees were still covered by a heavy blanket of moist snow, though the presence of the forest wild life hinted that springs thaw was not that far away. Even so, the air was still cold enough to condense our breath into thin fog clouds, and we were happy to be wearing our sock hats and gloves. The snow only reminded me of visiting my mother in the hospital following her stroke.

I tried to give our taxi driver a tip for carrying our bags from the Jeep to the front porch, forgetting the Japanese custom against accepting such gratuities. A little embarrassed, I re-pocketed the money and rapped my fist on the door.  
Brian's wife Sachiko opened the door and greeted us in an understandable mix of English and Japanese. Robin and I dragged our bags into the house, and then quickly removed our shoes on the waterproof mat just past the threshold of the door. At least I'd remembered one custom. "Buraian be back soon", Sachiko told us, "He at bath now". I assumed that there was a hot spring some short walk from the cabin as Brian had mentioned such during our QSO's, but I had no idea how long a hike it was. It wasn't more than a few minutes before I heard a door opening and closing at the rear of the cabin, and I assumed that my friend had just returned.

"Konnichiwa!", Brian cried out as he entered the room and saw Robin and I. "Glad you made it, I hope I didn't keep you waiting."

"No, we only just arrived," I replied, pointing to our luggage.

"Let me take care of that!," Brian offered, grabbing the three largest bags, to carry them up the stairs to the guest room. I tried to protest, but to no avail. Brian was a good head taller than me, and almost twice the height of his spouse. I knew he wasn't that much younger than I, but he was as spry as a man half my age. Robin and I followed him up the stairs, but at a much slower pace. We found him placing the last of our luggage into the guest room. It was a bright room, with a large window overlooking the rear of the house. The floor was covered with the traditional Tatami mats. A closet housed a pair of rolled up futon sleeping mattresses. Robin examined them, and seemed to be relieved that they were thick enough for her comfort. Up on a higher shelf were several blankets and pillows.

"Don't worry," Brain laughed, "the bedding is quite comfortable."

"I hope so," Robin replied.

I was standing at the window looking out. I could see a pair of tracks in the snow leading away from the cabin, out towards the woods. "Is that the way you went to the hot springs for your bath?" I asked my friend.

"Yes," Brian nodded. "It's a good trek through the woods, and along a stream to reach it, but it's an invigorating hike, and the hot bath is worth the walk. I hope you'll accompany me there tomorrow."

"Maybe," I answered, deep in thought.

**I'd** been trying to keep my sorrows in the back of my mind, and appear cheerful to my hosts, however the sight of snow covered back yard however, once again triggered a memory from years ago. It was mid February when my mother had suffered a stroke and my family made the trip from Florida to NY to visit her in the hospital. I remember driving on the snow covered roads through Long Island, and the cold weather stabbing the skin as I made my way across the parking lot from the car to the hospital. That, and the fact that Mom never recovered, never opened her eyes to see us. I did get a solitary 'I love you, son', out of her, about the only closure that I would.

**After **a warm cup of Sake, Brian ushered me towards the rear of the cabin, while Sachiko entertained Robin in the kitchen. My friend showed off his ham shack, which had a mix of old classic Collins gear, and some of Icom's top of the line high tech radios. "We're off the grid here," Brian bragged, "want to see how it's done?"

"Sure," I shrugged my shoulders.

I put my down jacket back on, and then my heavy water resistant boots. Brian then helped me attach a pair of snow shoes to the bottoms of those, and we made our way out the rear door of the cabin. The temperature was a few degrees below zero Celsius, with only a slight breeze, so it was nearly comfortable despite my breath fogging up. As we walked away from the cabin, I could see the south side of the building's roof was covered with PV panels. Set in a concrete pad a few meters from the hose, a seventy foot high, crank up tower held a large log-periodic Yagi antenna. "No wonder you have such a good signal into Florida," I laughed.

"Yes, it was worth the considerable Yen I had to spend," Brian agreed.

A second tower, located in another corner of the lot held a large wind turbine. The three bladed propeller spun slowly in the wind. "Right now it's not making too much in the Kw department, but when the wind picks up the turbine nearly doubles the output we get from the PV's in bright sun," Brian explained. "And that's not all."

I followed him downhill towards a stream that flowed slowly away from the house. "There's a small dam about a klick that way," he pointed, "and a spillway drives an undershot wheel which turns a generator. It's output is enough to power the house overnight, although I also have a Tesla powerwall that soaks up the output of the solar and wind generators."

My eyes followed the overhead cable that ran from the house on a dozen or so utility poles from the small hydroelectric plant.

"How'd you pay for all of this?" I asked.

"I sold a few patents," Brian replied. "I had become disgusted with the political climate in the US years ago, so I cashed in my chips and moved here. Before then, I'd been a geek and an inventor."

"Really," I asked?

"Oh nothing earth shaking, but it was worth some corporation's while to buy me out so they could conquer the market."

"And that didn't bother you?"

"It would have if I'd had the ambition to go into business, but I didn't," Brian replied, shrugging his shoulders. "Surrendering a battle in a war that you have no need to get involved in isn't being a coward."

**I woke up **early the next morning and quietly made my way downstairs so I wouldn't wake Robin. The sun was shinning brightly through the kitchen windows, as Sachiko was busy cooking.

"Good, you're an early riser," he smiled. "Time for a hardy breakfast, my wife is a great cook."

I sat myself down and looked at what was on the table. "No oink for me," I growled, pointing at the bacon.

"How about some steak, or trout?", Brian asked. You must have protein."

"Robin and I usually avoid red meat," I answered, "But I guess I'll try a little of the steak."

"It's excellent Wagyu beef," Brian said, dropping a plate and a pair of chopsticks in front of me. "Grade A4."

I carefully picked up a small piece of the beef and raised it to my mouth. It was good. "Just don't let my wife know," I laughed.

"Of course," Brian said. "Just so you know, Japanese consider beef a delicacy. It's expensive here, and no one gorges themselves on it. It's just one element of a meal, not even the main course in most cases."

"That would be rice," I replied, picking up the small bowl of the grain set in front of me. I attempted to eat the rice with the chopsticks, and mostly ended up bringing the bowl to my mouth and pushing the stuff in with the chopsticks.  
Brian just nodded at me. "Most people eat it that way," he said. "But Japanese rise is quite sticky, and you can usually pick up a good sized lump with the chopsticks."  
Despite my dark mood, which had returned again, I managed to eat a hearty breakfast. Brian must have noticed the melancholy look on my face because he asked "what's troubling you?"  
I tried to brush it off, "Nothing, just deep in thought," I replied.

"About what?" Brian asked.

I quickly explained about the anniversary of my mother's passing.

"Well then we need to get your mind off of that," he smiled, slapping me on the back. "Want to try out the hot spring I mentioned yesterday?"

"Maybe," I voiced.

Brian looked me over, like a tailor sizing up a customer for a new suit. "I think I have some duds that will fit you. Go get your hiking boots and a pair of socks. Also a pair of gloves and a hat, if you didn't pack those I might have something that will fit."  
Brain had already explained how far the walk to the hot spring was, and the thermometer hanging outside the window showed a reading of about -3 C, so even with the bright sun the protection for my ears and hands were a good idea. I fetched the items and met Brian in the mudroom in the back of the cabin.

My friend held up a pair of sweat pants in front of me and smiled, "looks like your size." He folded them neatly and placed them next to a small backpack, which he then picked up and held behind me. "Also a good fit. OK, now comes the interesting part."

"What?" I asked.

"Strip." he said, as he started undressing himself.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"Except for our foot gear, gloves and a hat, we're making this hike in the buff."

"You're nuts!" I protested, "I'll freeze to death, or get frostbite!"

"You won't," he promised. "You will carry warm clothing in your backpack, along with some energy bars, and a thermos of hot tea. If I see you drifting into hyperthermia, I'll have you dress yourself, but it won't happen. It's not cold enough today, and a healthy body can produce enough heat to starve off the cold. We do have to protect our extremities where the most heat is lost, such as our heads, hands and feet. That protection is also needed to prevent frostbite, but again it's barely below freezing outside. I've made this hike in the nude often enough to know my bodies reaction to the cold, so I know I won't need the clothing, but I still pack it with me in case of an accident."

"I still think this is nuts," I said.

"You'll feel the cold at first, but as you burn some calories walking you won't notice it. The sun will feel great on your exposed skin, and the experience will release endorphins that will remove that dark cloud over your head."

Somewhat reluctantly, I pulled off my shirt and under shirt which Brian folded and placed in the bottom of the back pack. I removed my trousers and underwear, both of these went into the pack, along with the sweat pants. I then put on the socks and boots, and attached the snow shoes I'd wore yesterday. I put on the sock hat, and pulled it down over my ears, and lastly put on the gloves. Brian helped me don the back pack, which felt strange hanging over my bare shoulders, against my bare back. He then added a bag of protein and energy bars, along with a thermos filled with hot tea.

**The **two of us stepped out into the snow covered back yard, and the cold air hit me at once. I almost started to shiver, but then I felt the warm sun on my butt cheeks and it passed. We started walking, stepping in the tracks still in the snow from the previous day. "I guess I can stand it," I voiced.

We reached the edge of the woods, not far from the hydoelectric generator, and the property line. "What if we meet up with someone else hiking in these woods," I asked.

"We won't," Brian replied, "This area isn't very populated in the winter. And even if we did, we're going to an Onsen, so being naked is actually appropriate."

I followed a few steps behind my friend, who let the way along the snow covered path. I actually forgot about the cold as I'd become fascinated by the scenery. All along the trail, plants were budding in preparation for the spring thaw. Birds chirped overhead, flying from tree to tree. Lizards sat on sun drenched rocks, displaying their throat fans.

Brian would periodically stop, and give me a look over for signs of hypothermia. Twice he had me chew on one of the snack bars we'd brought, and sip some of the tea. I'd actually gotten used to the cold, and it felt invigorating.

The path ran parallel to the same stream that flowed past Brian's cabin, and powered his generator. While there was some ice floating in the water, it was obviously melting, we must have been getting close to the hot spring.

I'd lost track of the time when Brian announced, "The hot spring is just ahead now."

I could see our destination, steam was rising from the middle of a pool of water where the spring had widened. Brian removed his back pack, placing it on top of a large rock that stuck out into the pool. He removed his snow shoes and boots, followed by his hat and gloves. I followed the procedure, then removed a towel from the back pack after stowing the other items. Brian was already in the water, I lay my towel down on the edge of the rock and wadded in.

I almost jumped out after putting my right foot into the steaming hot water. Slowly I got the other foot into the water, and then wadded in deeper. It took a few minutes before I felt comfortable enough to submerge myself up to my neck and allow the mineral rich bath to do its work. Brian had swam to the other side of the pool, but I stayed near the large rock we'd placed our stuff on. "How long do we soak in here?" I yelled across the hot pond.  
"For as long as you can stand it!", Brian laughed. "I usually do about fifteen minutes to a half hour."

I made my way to the middle of the pool. The water wasn't deep, averaging about four to five feet in most places. Here and there were deeper sections where the water might get over my head. I fell into one or two of these deep sections where I'd swim a few strokes back to a shallow area. All the while I'd been looking around, admiring the beauty of the woodland area. I then noticed another large rock sticking out from the shore into the Onsen way on the far side, and the figure sitting on the edge with his feet dangling into the water.

For some reason, I waded out to him. He was staring down into the water, deep in thought, and didn't notice me. The individual was a young boy, maybe nine or ten years of age. He was wearing only a pair of dark briefs. A pair of knee high red boots which he'd removed lay on the rock behind him. As I got closer I could see tears flowing down his face, falling into the water.

"Sumimasen, dōshitandesuka?", I asked.

The boy turned his head and seemed startled to notice me. "I guess I was crying, wasn't I?" he said. "I sometimes come here to be alone when I'm sad."

I hoped out of the water and sat next to him, only to realize I'd left my towel about fifty feet away. "Sad about what?" I asked.

"Today is the anniversary of my mother's death," he replied. "Well she wasn't exactly my mom, but close enough."

I realized that I'd completely forgotten about my own grief, the endorphins that had been released in my body from the exercise hiking, and the cold air against my bare skin had temporary made me forget.

"I also lost my mother near this time of year," I replied.

The boy looked up into my face, his large brown eyes seemed to see into my soul. Suddenly he put his arms around me and buried his head into my shoulder in a deep hug. I found myself putting my arms around him in response. I was taken back at how strange he felt. His body wasn't warm, nor soft, actually a bit like a doll or manikin. I released my grip on him in shock.

"I'm sorry!", he exclaimed, pulling back. "I thought we needed that."

"Quite alright," I laughed. "Do you feel better?"

"Yes," he smiled, wiping away the tears from his face with the palm of his right hand, "how about you?"

Actually, sharing our feelings of grief, did give me a warm feeling inside. "Arigatōgozimatshia," I said, holding out my arms. We embraced for a second time, and now his grip on me didn't feel quite as mechanical.  
"No namae Peng Alvin desu", I said in a bit of a late introduction. "Oira Atomu," he replied, grabbing his right boot and pulling it on, followed by the left. He got to his feet, and started walking away. "I've got to get back, hope you feel better!" he smiled.

I watched as the boy disappeared down the trail, only then noticing the pointy hair cowlicks sticking out from the back of his head. I walked down the snow covered trail toward the other large rock where our stuff was sitting, my bare feet hardly feeling the cold. I thought I heard the sound of jet engines being Doppler shifted in the retreating direction.

Brian was waiting for me by the rock, already having towel dried himself. I climbed out of the pool, grabbed my towel, and quickly dried myself. I finished off the remainder of the hot tea, and chewed down two of the snack bars. What little breeze there had been had died down, and the air temperature had problem risen just a hair above freezing thanks to the sun. The hot water also had a sauna like effect on me, on I actually felt warm standing totally naked.

We started the trek back to the cabin in silence, which Brian soon broke. "I see you made a friend."

"Have you ever seen that boy in the Onsen before?", I asked.

"I'm not sure," Brian voiced. "Want to tell me anything?"

"I think his mother passed on the same calendar day that mine did. Guess we both needed a hug to ease the pain."

"Good," he said. "You needed to get rid of that black cloud over your head."

**Back **at the cabin my wife was now downstairs having a bit of a late breakfast. "Enjoy your hike?", she asked me.

"Very much," I answered.

The rest of our stay was quite relaxing. We hiked through the woods with Sachiko as our guide (this time in normal hiking wear!), Robin getting lots of nature pictures with her camera. I returned to the Onsen a few times, but I never did never saw Atomu again.


End file.
